Self-hatred (also called self-loathing) refers to an extreme dislike or hatred of oneself, or being angry at or even prejudiced against oneself. The term “self-hatred” is used infrequently by psychologists and psychiatrists, who would usually describe people who hate themselves as “people with low self-esteem”.
The above is according to a Google search.
Sometimes s**t hits the fan. Other times, life happens and its details are beyond our control. Then life becomes, well…….messy, sticky and unpleasant to say the least in the most pleasant way.
Resultantly, we can end up blaming ourselves because maybe, just maybe, if we could have listened to our intuition earlier. If we could have sensed something was off. If someone would have warned us. If we could have done more research. If, if, if……ultimately leads to self loath. Self hatred. This is the highest level of hatred. Self, the bearer of the thought, becomes the object of the thought.
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7.
Is it fair to loath self yet each one is powerful beyond their wildest possible dreams, if only one perceived it.
Is it fair to eternally condemn yourself yet eternity awaits?
Is it fair to give up after merely scratching the surface of the iceberg? Yet. What we see on the surface, is less than 10% of the entire iceberg.
What you deem as failure today, could be tomorrow’s victory chant. You see, what you are now hating yourself over and beating yourself down with might be tomorrow’s testimony of ‘this was God’s hand that has eventually brought me here‘
Let me simplify it. When you broke that marriage engagement and sunk into depression. Or. When, you did what was contrary to what your parents had warned you about and now live with the consequences. Or. You have lost your marriage, been framed for a crime you never committed, been kicked out by your landlord. You hate yourself because in one way or another, a decision you made or failed to make contributed to your current situation.
Well, cheer up. The world says lightning don’t strike the same place twice. The good book says As a dog goes back to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Proverbs 26:11. Don’t be the fool.
See, the beauty of having a relationship with Jesus is that He keeps it real by requiring of you to acknowledge that your thinking is what needs to be fixed. Nothing less. He also requires that we face facts as facts, not as excuses.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2
Two. Once your thinking is renewed then you end up judging situations. Not people. Thereby, you gain clarity on what went wrong in the matter that you were previously in deep regret over.
Hurt people hurt. Hurt people hurt people.
Three. Reconciliation happens. First with self and when your epicentre is reclaimed, guess what happens next. It overflows to your environment. You forgive yourself. You forgive others. You become wiser, empathetic but also street smart. Only with genuine forgiveness. The absence of genuine forgiveness is a bounty hunt for revenge. That is scary. Sadly, most of us are bounty hunters.
Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Mark 12:31
You cannot truly love unless you learn to truly forgive.
Four. You no longer live life straightening your rear view mirror. You live free. You live loving self. You live appreciating the good things in life and learning from our not-so-good life experiences. Eventually, it flows to others around you. Renewed thinking leads to renewed living.
The choice is yours.