According to the google, the number 12 can be found in 187 places in God’s word. Revelation alone has 22 occurrences of the number. The meaning of 12, which is considered a perfect number, is that it symbolizes God’s power and authority, as well as serving as a perfect governmental foundation. It can also symbolize completeness or the nation of Israel as a whole.

For example, Jacob (Israel) had twelve sons, each of which represented a tribe begun by a prince, for 12 princes total. Ishmael, who was born to Abraham through Hagar, also had twelve princes.

God specified that twelve unleavened cakes of bread be placed every week in the temple with frankincense next to each of the two piles that were to be made. The priests were commanded to change the bread every Sabbath day (Leviticus 24).

This January marks 12 moons since I quit singledom and moved to this other kingdom.

I call it so because it is so. I mean you are given authority before any form of examination. There are maybe 4 times as such unwritten expectations as there are written ones. It is a mix of salt, pepper and a whole bunch of other spices that your mama never taught you.

Here are my 12 (not-so-obvious) lessons from my 12 years;

  1. Open your eyes wide while dating. Red flags should not be confused with red roses.
  2. Shut your ears when you get married. It is the 2 of you to work on your issues unless you have both agreed that external help is indeed required for a specific challenge.
  3. Compare at your own risk. We could be driving a vitz but have food and financial security whereas the Jones’ could be driving a Hilux but are surviving from hand to mouth.
  4. Always have a plan but still have fun in the process. Remember that plans can be adjusted so long as the goal is achieved.
  5. Nurture the friendship moreso after saying your vows because you will need the time when conflict & disagreement is unavoidable.
  6. Don’t lose your friends or yourself just because you’re married. Instead, define your friends, his friends and shared friends. In the definition process, your circle of friends will definitely get smaller.
  7. Money comes and goes. Start making wise investments from year 1.
  8. Like and love will switch their meanings with time, that is to say, you will end up loving what you liked about your partner and liking what you loved. Like & love wisely.
  9. Submit one to another in everything. Teamwork makes the dream work.
  10. Cover for one another in public. Reason/iron/fight it out fairly later.
  11. Develop a sense of humor early in the marriage. It reduces stress.
  12. Speak up not because you must say something but because an idea is never polished from the get go. Failure to do so is a guaranteed regret.

To my life partner, Stanley , thank you for being with me and bearing with me in the course of these 12 lessons.

Happy anniversary and I love you.

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